heart right now

walking the void with bittersweet distraction
fading into glances
and hazy love

corroded by loss
pounding strong with an ache
only waves can wash away

ideas are ideas

I've been pondering the idea of ideas lately.  I have lots of ideas.  I even feel passionately about them.  However, all they will ever be are ideas floating around in my head until I turn them into something else.  It's time for me to take some action.  I've taken all kinds of little steps here and there and cannot deny the footsteps of progress I look back and see.  I've even walked right up to the edge and allowed myself to become familiar with the vastness of my passion and desire for change, but it's time to jump.  It's time to shed these last layers of weight holding me down and truly free myself to take my ideas and make them a reality.  Because ideas are just ideas...until they become something else.

road trip blips

"A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles"


Upon pondering this quote, I have been inspired to share some thoughts from a recent trip. I ventured out via car, train and uhaul over the course of two weeks and seven states to reconnect with old friends, make room for new ones, spend time with the ones so close, see new and growing children and bring one friend back "home" with me. Random thoughts from the journey:

Thai food:
I LOVE Thai food. I would venture to say that it is my favorite cuisine. But what happens when pad thai combines with a beautiful evening and an old friend I haven't seen in over ten years? Thai food becomes a million times more fabulous. Also, cutting up magazines while eating leftover thai food will always make me happy.

On the (rail)road again:
Something else I love? Taking the train. It requires a time deposit which I find easy to respect while staring out windows at sights not seen from other roads. When my gaze turns away from the window, I see people. Everyone is going somewhere, but for now, be it hours or days, we are all together on the train. To embrace this little community is a part of the nostalgia of the tracks. To those I met on this trip, I thank you for sharing your stories, your markers, your laughter, your homemade cookies, your thoughts and your plum brandy. Cheers!

Naps:
I'm not much of a napper. On average, I'd say I nap MAYBE once a month. But the day I arrived early on the train and ventured up into the clouds, a nap was my best friend. Engrained in my mind still because I was so content, I found myself curled up on my sleeping bag listening to the lake and soaking up the sun while drifting in and out of sleep, unsure of whether to truly sleep or just enjoy the peace.

Colorado transplants:
I love that I have friends from college to visit when I go back to Montana. Whitefish friends...thank you for being there with your colorful walls that always make me happy, your homemade granola, dancing and music and not needing plans. Sorry I kind of abandoned you for huckleberries. It happens. And Bozeman friends...thank you for having time to reconnect and for sharing your baby and that delicious dessert. Thank you all for always offering up a place to stay. Please say "hi" to the snow for me when it comes. I fear I may not be buiding any snowmen this winter. Super weird.

Talk about quality time:
In only a few days, my mom and I managed to visit both Glacier and Yellowstone, take lots of photos, go camping, discover a new type of marmot, move a huge boulder, pick gallons of huckleberries, listen to lots of classic rock, go shopping, make friends at Arby's and drive about 1000 miles. Good times indeed.

Picture Perfect:
Yellowstone is always a wonderful adventure, but meeting a wonderful friend there makes it even better, especially when it's a favorite photo snapping partner in crime and when the adventure takes a grizzly turn. (Pun partially intended.) I am glad for three things:
1. That we tented it even after the ladies told their crazy bear story about our campsite.
2. That we saw a grizzly.
3. That the sick bear decided to attack the night after we left.
Bear with me (pun fully intended) as I deposit more memories. Oh also, people are stupid. "Not us...it's others." Hee hee. No but seriously, bull elk are dangerous too.

Denver:
Pub. Beer. Phone Booth. Ice Cream. Laughter. Pianos. People Watching. Sweet Potato and Black Bean Tacos. Fabulous stories. Margaritas. Mix together all these things with friends from all over and enjoy. Lovely day.

Peeps and pipsqueaks:
Sometimes the thing you need most is just a day with the girls. It doesn't really matter whether shopping for umbrellas, sitting around eating chocolate, making peepsushi or playing dress-up. On a sidenote of sorts, I am thrilled to see that Kiley's fashion sense is coming along smashingly. Really, though, there are friends that will be there no matter what new roads are being travelled and they will always be the perfect day in the middle of an adventure...

Fort Fun:
*sigh* This town will always have a place in my heart. SO MANY memories. It was a blast this time around too. A trip to the ever flourishing mall may be my last ever considering the absence of Chick-Fil-A. What?! Bad move mall. Thankfully, we tracked down a #3 with magic lemonade across the street. Old town is still lovely and Old C's still a great gathering place. The parks make for great picnics as always, but is it just me or is our crowd getting overrun by children? Pretty sure they will soon take control...

Master Plan - Step One:
The last part of the trip was the drive back to Oregon...in a Uhaul...friend in tow. Mwahhahaha. See, if I could make Portland the new Fort Collins, my life would be pretty near perfect. Why? Because I love where I live. It has pretty much everything I've been wanting...except every person I love. That is why you are all going to move here and we are going to live happily ever after. Ok, I realize this is probably not going to happen, but I am still going to try. I suppose it's for the best anyway if SOME of you stay where you are, otherwise I would have no friend filled road trips to write about now would I?

At Last:
It will always be a spectacular song. Nope...has nothing to do with the trip. It is playing on pandora right now and I just felt like mentioning it as I wrap this up.

Thank you friends for being a part of the adventure that is my life. The miles matter not when you are on the other end. See you again next time I hit the road. Or when you move to Oregon. Or when we meet somewhere else. Or here if you're itching to relocate...it's sunny right now. There's an IKEA. And lots of water. And me. Ok...I'm done.

loving local flavor

Recently, I hopped off the lightrail and made my way once again through several park blocks to the farmers market. Once there, I sampled cooked greens, picked out perfect pears and chatted with the honey guy about huckleberries. Fresh colors invaded my heart as I let myself fall in love with this local scene. I am lucky to live somewhere that values local flavor. Aside from the abundance of farmers markets at my doorstep, there are hundreds of homegrown breweries, bakeries, restaurants, fruit stands and farms in every direction. It's not just fun either...it is fabulous. Eating local food supports the local economy, enriches a healthy lifestyle and simply tastes delicious. I recently read a blog post about some of the benefits of eating local food, so check it out, get out and take a bite out of life.
10 Reasons to Eat Local Food

some rich perspective

This is not supposed to make us feel guilty, but rather help up to open our eyes and see what we do have rather than what we want or think we need. It can be so easy to get stuck in our own little world and forget how big the world actually is. I was caught up in my own little world last week, wishing I could buy a new camera right now and throwing myself a lovely little pity party. In fact, I was partying hard and woke up with a very groggy outlook. It was time to open my eyes again to the world and refresh my perspective.

What did I realize? I am very wealthy!

I am incredibly fortunate to have all that I do...health, education, relationships and a place to call home. Even upon remembering these things, I find it easy to think of myself as "not very rich", but guess what? I am in the top 10% of the richest people in the world! In my mind, it doesn't seem possible, but it's true.
Check out where you fall:

I would like to keep my perspective rich and choose to value the things that are priceless rather than those that have earned an earthly appraisal. My life is truly rich and I want to focus on sharing that wealth in whatever ways I can...

No more pity-parties.

How rich is your perspective of your "wealth"?

bite-size blahbittys

It's been a bit since I expanded on a topic floating around in my head, but there has been a lot of random stuff on my mind and I'm in the mood to share, so here we go:

Why choose to fail when success is an option? Good question, huh?

p.s. Success, in some facet, is always an option. Also, if you do "fail", that doesn't mean you are a "failure". Big difference. K. Moving on.

My strawberries are dying. I have been reading up a lot on growing them and I think it is happening because it has been too wet and too cold. (sidenote: currently in the middle of the wettest and coldest June in Portland on record) They are producing berries, but turning brown on the edges of the leaves. If anyone has advice, please do share.

I was listening to Sarah McLachlan radio on Pandora the other day and a Nickelback song came on. Seriously!? "I don't like this song" Click.

I don't drink enough water. I recently started tracking my fitness and nutrition with some friends on dailyburn.com and it quickly became clear that I drink about 45-50 oz. of water each day rather than the recommended 64+ oz. This needs to change!

The things I am learning from doing my photo blog continue to amaze me.

Random pet peeve: I use public transportation several days a week at least and I really do not understand why people sit on the outside seat reading a book and pretend not to notice when the train or bus starts to fill up, magically forgetting that they have an empty seat next to them. I took this photo yesterday and you can see at least three people with empty seats next to them. There were several people standing behind me. What I wish I would have captured was the look of horror and annoyance on one of the riders faces when someone politely asked to sit by them. Seriously, the person standing in front of you paid the same price for this ride as you. Scooch over!!!

I washed my makeup brushes last week. It was gross. I will be washing them much more frequently from now on. I have been washing them with this somewhat pricey spray stuff, but I now know it was not getting the job done. I used baby shampoo to clean them this time and the result was AMAZING. Highly recommended.

This was pretty amazing: "what change can do"

Seriously, where do socks go!?

I have been listening to KT Tunstalls acoustic extravaganza CD on repeat for about four hours now. I love this CD, but it may be time to say goodbye, step away from the computer and get into a new groove for the rest of the day.

peace out

lost got lost

I don't really know where to start with this one because I basically want to rewrite the entire lost finale and that would take me a long time...